A List of Things That People Owe the Disabled

by dpreyde

A little while ago, I was talking to my friend Amy about accessibility issues. She happens to be in a wheelchair, and she told me about a run-in she’d had at the beer store. Apparently some guy had parked his car right in front of the wheelchair ramp, blocking it off. She confronted him, things escalated pretty quickly, and he yelled, “You disabled people always think we owe you something!”

I thought this was an interesting concept. What do the non-disabled owe us, exactly? I mean, we have to live the rest of our lives struggling to overcome our disabilities, and that’s not even the worst part. We’re also constantly surrounded by normal people doing things we can never hope to achieve, like holding down jobs, falling in love, or buying beer.

Surely all those normal people must owe us something. So I thought about it, and made a modest list.

They owe us:

1. Spacious bathrooms

2. Clean bathrooms

3. Bathrooms with a bowl of complimentary mints

4. Bathrooms with classical music piped in

5. Or smooth jazz – we’re flexible

6. Free parking spots

7. Three parking spots- even if we only need one

8. A ham and cheese sandwich

9. A grilled cheese sandwich

10. Any damn sandwich we want

11. Access to banks

12. Access to their bank accounts

13. Their jobs

14. Their spouses

15. Their first-born children

16. And their second-born- we want to brainwash them with our radical agenda

17. Christmas every day of the year

18. A tropical island

19. Their immortal souls

20. And a slice of key lime pie