Things I Wish Older Versions of Me Could Tell Me Now

by dpreyde

Age Twenty-Nine:

-So have we managed to get anything published yet?

-Are we still with Hannah? I’m willing to bet we are. How’s that going?

-Did we ever manage to find a real job?

-Have we gotten the knack of traveling yet?

-What’s our social life like at the moment? Has it expanded the way I want it to?

Age Forty:

-Did we have kids? Are they weird?

-Tell me what a typical day looks like for you. Don’t leave anything out.

-Are you happy?

-How has our writing career panned out so far?

-Are we still in Toronto?

Age Fifty-Five:

-How’s our health? Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?

-Did our kids turn out well? They don’t have the debilitating sads, or a drug problem or something, do they?

-What’s the family dynamic like now? Who are we still close to? Who did we lose touch with?

-Did we ever manage to find the perfect summer cottage?

-So on a scale of 1-10, how bald did we end up?

Age Seventy:

-What’s it like to be old?

-What’s your biggest regret?

-Do we have grandkids? Are they weird?

-Please tell me we’re not living out our old age alone. I don’t even care if it’s true. Just tell me we’re not.

-How big of a deal is global warming? Like, are The Netherlands still around?

Age Eighty-Five:

-I read somewhere that a person’s happiness increases until the age of eighty-five, and then plateaus. Is that true?

-I don’t know if this is a weird thing to ask, but how’s your sex life?

-Where are you living now? Please don’t be living in an old folks’ home.

-There’s something that would be invaluable for me to know, but I don’t know enough to ask it. Tell me what it is.

-I want to know everything about the life you’ve led.